We all experience numerous metaphors and aphorisms that for the moment, get us thinking. As my personal focus began to shift from a life in the Arts to that of an author and mentor of sorts, I found that the aphorism if you will, the journey is more important than the goal, surfaced time and time again. I was most assuredly on a new journey focusing tenaciously on researching the constructs of the how and why of our thinking. Within this quest I ran across a statement, a simple semantic restructure of the aphorism that I just mentioned, and to coin a phrase, it was a serious light bulb moment. I also found it kind of entertaining that it came from a marketing guru as opposed to some revered figure living in the hills of Tibet, if you get my drift. He stated the following:
The goal, is an extraordinary journey.
That simple play on words from the original aphorism swinging through my head was one of the more profound moments of my life. Not only did it represent in my eyes a potential answer to the infamous “what’s it all about” question, but it gave credence to the life I have lived and all too easily questioned on occasion. We get so caught up in “planning” for everything we miss the potential learning experience from (as Sting puts it) every breath we take, every move we make.
The Problem
You’re serious about a life or work-life change and have constructed a series of steps (or goals) you feel necessary to implement that change. Your commitment seems in place and your attitude fairs well as you proceed. But a period of time elapses and you look back and realize that even though you’ve stayed on course, you continue to feel unfulfilled, relatively unhappy, and frustration is way too prevalent in your day to day existence. Your state of being confused about this plays hard with staying motivated, but you decide to continue to live with everything as you’re convinced “this” is the work, the sacrifice that has to occur to reach that ultimate goal, or vision. But…you can’t shake this haunting feeling that something is missing in this equation.
The Solution
We’re right back to the statement I shared; make your intended (read ultimate) goal “an extraordinary journey.” Having this as your objective and the foundation you build upon, you start seeing life as a continual adventure as opposed to a painful waiting game until everything finally “falls into place.”
What and what not to choose to engage in goes through a metamorphosis. Your (literally) day to day activities simply become pieces of the adventure you’re on which you’ll scrutinize much more closely because the goal has now become “maintaining” that great adventure while in pursuit of your intended life change. You now live within the realm of constant potential, and that’s what drives your daily routines and decisions.
Look at it this way. In adventure mode, you may not actually arrive at where you thought you would, but the “possibility” of getting somewhere new, or better, is continually in play. You’re also avoiding the “what a waste of the last few months (maybe years)” scenario, and in essence, are committing to altering that perspective on a full time basis. You’ve set your sights to focusing on actually living an extraordinary journey.
Some Thoughts
What comes to mind is this; how many times have you rattled off the phrase, in hindsight? The greater point here is all of your experiences have something to offer if you’re paying attention and tapering your resistance to them. Life is a continuum of opportunities, and the concept of waiting for them to unfold “after” you’ve reached some intended goal inhibits the inherent potential of exploring the almost daily opportunities that all too easily slip right through your fingers.
I want to be clear on the fact that my belief is we’ve been swayed to see goals as being inseparable from accomplishment. But if you’re paying attention, you begin to see that some of your goal setting can potentially lead to irradiate behaviors and questionable decision making. If I were to take one step beyond the proposition of the goal being an extraordinary journey, I’d recommend what Professor of Organizational Behavior Gary Latham terms as a “learning goal” which involves a much more multifaceted approach to goal setting. As an example, and shifting gears on this learning goal premise, I’m reminded of a quote (due to my background in the Arts) from conductor Leon Fleischer which seems to be extremely analogous to Latham’s thrust in terms of what a learning goal might represent.
“Playing a piece of music is a lesson in antigravity. We have to get above the bar lines which are just wipits of the greater piece as a whole – we tend to focus on the bar line – that’s like goal setting.”
If we back up and try placing the focus on the success of experiencing an extraordinary journey, experiencing the “entire composition” if you will, as opposed to focusing on continually setting random goals and waiting for the perceived outcome, priorities begin to reshape and your decision making process profoundly changes.
As a final thought, credence to this perspective manifested for me after reading The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying by Bonnie Ware. After interviewing countless individuals experiencing their final days in life, this is what Ms. Ware posted as the #1 regret from those she spoke with.
“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
This number one regret from those at the end of their lives (beyond its inherent message) reeks of an evaluation of their personal “journey” as opposed to a reexamination of isolated incidents or reflections on one’s “goals” that had been reached, or not. Would it be fair to say that if one lived out what we’d see as an extraordinary journey, their final regret would have been of a different nature than that #1 regret she shared? Food for thought!
